Remaining Unwritten

The worthless paper
With scribbles upon
Will anyone finish it
After I’m gone?

Or shall the words stay unwritten?
Unsaid and unread
None to continue my legacy
After I’m dead.

I do not seek publishment
But I don’t fear it neither
Underground or known
I’m happy with either.

For I don’t write for fame
Nor fans or for monies
I do it for myself
Because it puts the breaks on my worries.

I write out my thoughts
Love, fears, desires
Yet I still feel empty
In spite of these fires.

I look around desperately
I need motivation
I need inspiration
Not self mutilation.

I’m unlike my kin
Unlike all of my peers
I must be unique
And that fills me with fears.

Fears of violence
Fears of rage
I need to break the normal
Smash out of this cage.

For my individuality
Comes at a steep price
All those around me
They think I’m not right.

Like something is wrong
I’ve got a disease
And all shall avoid me
Like crims avoid police.

But do not fear me
I am but a friend
The only one who’ll remain loyal
Until the bitter end.

I’ve said it before
I’ll say it again
I’ve never had love
Yet I still feel its pain.

The pain that remains
After a long love has ended
“Just leave me alone
I don’t need to be mended!”

I just punch holes
In my bedroom wall
As I start to fear
My own dark soul.

And I lay in the dark
A blank stare on my face
As I wonder “where in this world
Is MY place?”

I don’t need advice
I’ll just have a beer
But lo and behold
In seeps more fear.

Would someone sap
This evil from me
So I can live life
Peacefully?

I need to lose
This misery
To find my own
Serenity.

But will that be enough?
Will that let me survive?
Or am I already
Slammed shut in this vice?

All I need is a word
Just give me a line
I’ll search my own memory banks
And make my own rhyme.

And so I’ll hurt
And shed a tear
For my world is a void
When she is not here.

To love what we cannot attain
Is simply human nature
So why then, even with this knowledge
Do I feel such a failure?

But that's over now
I’ve given her up
And with somebody else
I must retry my luck.

So back to the beginning
Back to where it begun
Will this story continue
After I’ve passed on?